Internet blackout for one week, now lifted.

Big stuff happened.

First - My weekend changes this week to Saturday-Sunday. Holy shit! You can invite me to stuff and I might actually come! Hoorays for long lost friends.

Ok, then..

A few weeks ago, I am working on the spit, and out in the dining room I spot a tall, dark-haired boy with some piercing in his ears and the most charming grin on his face. He is eating with an older lady, his mom I suspect. He gets up to go, and as he walks by the spit I get a better look. He is beautiful. He is talking to his companion, and doesn't notice me gawking.

A server walks by, I can't remember who it was, but I whisper to her "That boy is suuper hooooot" She says, "Yeah, I know, and I think he's suuuper gay. He's the brother of the new pastry cook."

I get the familiar mix of giddiness and dread. If he were straight, then I could just drool over him. But since he is gay, and something is possible, I have to brace myself for disappointment. He's too young and too hot for the likes of me. Is anybody this insecure?

I shelve him in the back of my mind, but become fascinated by Eleanor, the new pastry cook, who is also tall and beautiful, and appropriately sweet. Pastry Jenny has known both Eleanor and her brother, let's call him A., since childhood. She first me him when he was a baby. Jenny and I are the same age. Jenny was seven when A. was born. Ok.

I am Berkeley Bowl boy crushed out. I sense a tiny possibility that I could be so lucky.

Last week, Julian had a goodbye drinking session at Kitty's. Eleanor is there. My heart is a little jumpy. And when I see a lanky punkish boy come through the gate, it's all over.

Everyone is in on it. Eleanor took a shine to me, and thought about her single brother. Elaine had the same idea. Everyone knows what's going on, and everyone seems as excited and nervous as I am. The big set-up. I am introduced, but too nervous to say much more. I hover near him.

Last call. He gets up to go, I smile at him, he smiles back. "It was nice to meet you, I'll see you later?"

The next day at work, right before service, the hostess hands me a note. It's from A. He's asking me out.

I have had three dates with him in the last two days. I am having trouble eating or sleeping or believing that this most beautiful boy in the world is for me.

Every so often, despite my best efforts to think I don't deserve it, the world gives me exactly what I want.

Aiiiieeeeee!!!!